Happy New Year in June!

This time last year I was in the middle of my first (and what was supposed to be my last) surgery.  Four surgeries and 10 months later, I was FINALLY able to walk again!

There hasn't been a day that's gone by since I've been recovered that I haven't thanked God for the simple pleasure of being able to walk.  The simple pleasure of being able to hold my daughter's hand or carry her to her room.  The simple pleasure of being able to bend down and pick her up or sit on the floor and play with her. 

Yes, there are days I'm tired as hell and I really don't want to go outside in the 100 degree heat and fill up the pool or swing her or help her pick up sticks.  But I usually do, because I remember the days when I couldn't and when she begged and begged and there was nothing I could do about it.

I am just so thankful that God led me to the surgeon here in Austin and that I received the care I did from him.

Thank you again to everyone who prayed for me, to those who sent me flowers, cards, and gifts and to my family and Rich's family for being our cooks, maids, chauffeurs, and sounding boards (when I really felt the need to vent!). 

Happy New Year to me!

Lessons Learned

It's been awhile, but I'm FINALLY walking!  It was so exciting to be able to carry Laurel down the hallway and hold her hand while we walked across the street for the first time in nearly 10 months.  So, after everything that happened I figured I'd put together a top 10 list of things I learned to help the rest of you old people suffering from similar ailments.


1) Have surgery in the winter.  Wearing TED hose in the 100 degree Summer weather was not my favorite thing.  You can also hide your unshaven legs better in the winter.

2) Unless you live in a tiny tiny town (or anywhere in Oklahoma) have the surgery in the city where you live.  While most surgeries go fine, if you're one of the unlucky ones that have complications, you need to be able to make constant trips back to the doctor and the travel can get wearisome and expensive.

3) Find a surgeon who knows his limitations.  Find out what he/she would do if you do get an infection or have complications and then find someone who will call in experts.

4) Ask your surgeon if they have any plans to be out of town immediately following your surgery.  Being told they are hopping on a plane to go across the globe the morning after your surgery is not how you want to find out.

5) The staff at the hospital you choose is almost as important as the surgeon.  You want people who will question a doctor's orders if your condition changes, people who will think for themselves, and people who will LISTEN to you after the surgery and find out answers when you need them.  I highly recommend Seton on 38th Street in Austin.  Excellent nurses and staff all around.

6) If you do go to Seton, plan to bring your own meals- the food is not only inedible, it's unidentifiable.   A tip if you do plan to eat there- just ask for a big salad for dinner (skip the main course) and ask for a plain turkey sandwich at lunch.  At least you'll know what you're eating.

7) Ask for some calming meds while you are in pre-op.  By the 4th surgery I was so nervous that I thought I might have a panic attack before I ever made it into the O.R. 

8) If you are getting IV meds (especially strong ones) get a PICC line.  My poor veins couldn't take the meds and got blown so badly I couldn't even get pain meds via the IV because it was too painful.  While having a spaghetti sized tube pouring meds out right next to your heart is a little creepy, it's better than the clots you'll get in your hands from the IV.

9) Don't assume any doctor or nurse knows what's better for you than you do yourself.  Always question something if you don't understand it and offer information that you think is relevant even if you think they don't want to hear it. 

10)  Opt for home health if it's offered.  The first few weeks of PT suck enough as it is- you might as well get to do it in your PJs.  Plus, it's nice to have a nurse or someone coming by to make sure you're still alive for the first few days.

On a side note, if anyone needs durable medical equipment, I've got a small collection I'm willing to rent to the highest bidder ;)

The Day Has Arrived

I can't believe it.  After 8.5 months of waiting, it's finally here.  On Thursday I'll be getting my new hip and hopefully putting all of this behind me.  I think this surgery will probably be the hardest for me so far because I'm basically in no pain right now.  I was in such pain before the other three surgeries that I wasn't really concerned about the post-surgical pain.  But, I know it's only temporary and that I'll be walking on the other side of this, so I'm ready.

Tomorrow I plan to spend the day with Laurel and soak up as much Laurel/Mommy time as I can before I'm out of commission for a few weeks again. 

The surgery will be at Seton on 38th St. here in Austin at 12:30 pm on Thursday.  The doctor expects it to take at least 3 hours, but we know the last one took over 4, so it's anyone's guess.  I'd appreciate any prayers you could throw our way this week, especially on Thursday.  If you're at a loss for words (as I often am at times like this), use mine:

"Dear God, please be with Cari during her surgery this week.  Guide the surgical team to the best of their abilities.  Be with her family as they wait.  Give them patience and the peace that only You can provide.  Give Cari mental, physical, and emotional strength both during the surgery and during her recovery.  Remind her that this pain is only temporary and that this too shall pass.  Above all else, Your will be done.  Amen."

Thank you all for your support during this long journey.  I hope to be walking and leaping and celebrating with you all soon! 

3 Weeks and Counting

So, I haven't posted in almost a month because I've had nothing positive to say.  I still don't, but figured with the "ice and snow" people would be trapped in their homes and forced to read my whining, so I take to my soap box once again.

I want to scream.  I want to punch someone.  I want to scream while punching someone. 

Three.  More.  Weeks.

Disappointment

I was so excited this morning because I had another follow up visit scheduled with my surgeon- and the plan was to pick a surgery date to get the prosthesis put back in.  The good news: my blood work came back normal (for the first time in months) and he said we could go ahead with the surgery.  The bad news: even though he isn't going to make me wait until his first opening in June, I still may not get in until February or March sometime.  I'll admit I just broke down right there in the office.  It will be 7 months since my first surgery this Sunday.  7 long, LONG months. 

I am getting more and more angry by the day and I'm really trying to not let that consume me.  I'm angry that I still can't walk.  Angry that I still can't do the things with my daughter that I want to do (one of the main reasons for having a surgery in the first place!).  Angry that yet another job opportunity presented itself this week and I'm not going to be able to take it because the surgery won't happen in time.  Yes, I realize companies are not supposed to discriminate in these situations, but really, who can blame them?  It isn't their problem. 

I really don't know how people with chronic diseases handle all the ups and downs.  I mean, what's happened to me is nothing compared to cancer or other diseases, and yet continually getting my hopes crushed is really taking its toll. 

So, now I wait.  Wait for someone to cancel their surgery so they can slide me in.  Hope that someone gets sick so they have to postpone their surgery date and I can take it (yes, I know how horrible that sounds).  And I pray.  Again.  I've got to trust I'll get the date I need when I need it.   In the mean time, I think I'm going to try to find a way to kick box sitting down.  My rage needs somewhere to go.

Stir Crazy

It's been over 7 weeks since my last surgery and it's my first day alone after being with family for 2 weeks straight over the holidays.  As I look around at a house full of dust, dirt, Christmas tree leaves, toys, and general clutter, I am getting more and more anxious to get the next surgery done!   I am so tired of not being able to do things for myself.  Tired of not being able to carry Laurel.  Tired of being in debt because I can't work and because the medical bills were obviously a lot more than we planned on.  Tired of having to drop Laurel at school because I can't take care of her all day on my own.  Tired of HGTV. 

Rich has been trying so hard to keep things clean, but it's impossible with a full time job & a toddler for one person to do it all.  I don't know how in the world all you single working parents do it! 

That's all.  Just a little rant that I had to get out.  Thanks for listening.

2010 in the Rear View

I'm not sure how I feel about 2010, to be honest.  In one respect, it's all a blur of doctor visits, bone scans, IV meds, surgeries, and days I'd just as soon forget.  On the other hand, like I said in one of my other posts, this year has made me more grateful for what I have and has made me anxious to start living to the fullest again.

I don't know what 2011 is going to hold in store for us, but I do know this: I have an amazing family who dropped everything to be with me and help me through this year.  I have amazing friends who support me and pray for me and will be taking me out for drinks when this is all over ;)  I have an amazing husband who has done more than his share around the house while I've been out of commission.  I have an amazing daughter who asks me daily if my leg still hurts and tells me she will help me if I need it.  Most importantly, I have an amazing God who has brought me this far and will carry me through whatever 2011 brings.  I think I'll close out 2010 by sharing the prayer I've been praying each night for the past few months.  It's apropos to my situation, but I think it rings true for anyone going through a hard time or feeling like there's no end to the pain and suffering.  (Before I get credit for my wonderful prose, I'll let you know that the prayer is from a book- I didn't come up with it)

Lord Jesus, who patiently and willingly suffered deep pain for the salvation of the world, thank You for understanding what I'm going through.  Give me strength to accept my weakness as I recover, and remind me always of the place you've prepared for me in heaven, where there will be no more weeping.  I know this pain is temporary because of Your perfect life, death, and resurrection.  Amen.

Amen!  Happy New Year!